Come Thou Fount-Jadon Lavik

I'd much prefer to listen to Sufjan's arrangement, but I won't turn this song down if it comes my way. I think I've always understood this hymn because of the truth it speaks. These words seem to give voice to my heart's stirrings lately:

Let thy goodness, like a fetter

bind my wandering heart to thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

prone to leave the God I love;

here's my heart, oh take and seal it,

seal it for thy courts above.

If I were to put these words into my own, I think I'd say, "God, let your goodness be the chain that binds my seeking heart to you. I feel a tendency to search elsewhere for Truth, to search for something else besides you, the one I love most. Please take this heart, my heart, and make it yours. Put your name on my heart, and get it ready for the days I will forever spend with you in Heaven." 

Tonight, I'm extremely melancholy. I've been overly sensitive, emotional, and extremely off for the last couple days. I could excuse it all by saying I'm just tired and overworked, but really, I think my heart has been wandering. I'm desiring this big, blow-you-away love, but I haven't been looking to the Lover who gives me that every day. I want that joy back that I had not too long ago. It was a simple joy-a joy that looked for Jesus in every day and in every thing. Maybe these few days have just been a process of realizing Jesus is really all I ever want and need. I'm not satisfied with anything else, even if I strongly think I will be. So tonight, I'm thankful for a good, stable Father. In my wandering, he is always there to affirm Truth. I think I need to be done with this moody, emotional Jess. Onto a different attitude and a different focus. Jesus.

Sunshine-Matt Costa

Oh my word! I love this song! It just popped up on Pandora, and I decided I'd use it for today's featured song. What cheer it brings! I'm not very familiar with Matt Costa, but I've enjoyed every song I've heard on Pandora. I can't tell you how joyful I am right now. God is so good. I'm realizing that more and more, and today, this song just added to my joy! On this Sunday afternoon as I do homework, listen to music, decorate my wall, and think about what God has planned, I am very thankful for my life. I can't even say more than that. I'm just hopeful and resting-finding joy in the little things. Enjoy today!

Human-Jon McLaughlin

Gotta love piano-driven pop tunes! This song is very enjoyable, and the words hold a lot of truth. The line "we're only human, always fighting what we're feeling" is on repeat in my head right now. To be honest, it is a little annoying. Of course I am human. I don't need that reminder tonight. At the same time, I realize we are more than that. I guess I can sympathize with the fact that we are errant, imperfect beings, but I don't know if it should be an excuse. I wouldn't even go so far as to say that's what Jon McLaughlin is saying here. It just brought these thoughts to my attention. I think I often brush off my angry, bitter thoughts or unloving behavior as simply human. There is some truth to this, but as a follower of Jesus, there should be more to me now. I want to pursue him in a way that feels his pain, sees with his eyes, hears what he hears, and loves like he loves. If anything, God purposefully made us imperfect so that he would be glorified in our failings. I love knowing that the Fall wasn't an "oops". God has been thinking about and working with our human nature from the beginning. So, yes, I'm human. I mess up, I hurt the Jesus I claim to be madly in love with, and he opens his arms every time. But I am also a being that wants to please God and not let my human imperfections hinder me from completely loving him. Man, that's hard. I feel like I'm falling short of that desire lately. God, help me. 

Mesmerized-Lifehouse

This song is in my library, yet I don't think I have listened to it before today. I don't love it. I do like much of what Lifehouse creates, but this was just okay. The thing I love about Lifehouse's music is the flow of memories that comes whenever I hear the lead singer's distinctive voice. In high school, we sang You and Me in our small singing group. We sang to the tune of two acoustic guitars, joined in four part harmony, and I'll never forget the joy I took from being a part of that kind of group. Some of my best memories and closest friends all came from this group, Unity. We performed at several assemblies, school pageants, choir concerts, Christmas Feaste (also known as Madrigals), and various community events. It's funny to think that I lived in the choir room during my high school career. Between there and my competitive speaking classroom, I spent many hours outside of class just enjoying the people. I loved high school. Sometimes I get very critical of my younger years and my time at Springdale, but I really enjoyed it. I had so many opportunities, responsibilities, and memories. 

And then, there is the Lifehouse song, Storm. This is a song I fell in love with shortly after David introduced it to me. The words and almost eerily beautiful melody take hold of me in a way that only few songs have done. I could list you those songs-I know them well-but Storm is definitely one. I have journaled about this song before in my daily thoughts, but maybe one day I'll get to include its influence in my little project. I don't really know how I went from the song Mesmerized to high school to Storm, but I don't think it matters. I don't have any rigid rules for this, so I'll just go with whatever happens. Until tomorrow... 

Love is Not Against the Law-Derek Webb

When this song came up, I was glad for it. Not only do I love Derek Webb's voice and musicality, but I enjoy his lyrics. At times, he is too political for my taste, but overall I really enjoy him. This song talks about loving our enemies, admitting our wrongs, and loving others equally. I am especially drawn to the verse that says, "Cause you cannot choose your friends, but you choose your enemies. But what if they were one-one and the same? Could you find a way to love them both the same?" 

I wonder, how often do I really love those who are not my friends, family, or even acquaintances? I work with people, run into others as I do errands, meet new individuals through friends, and so on, but I don't know if I ever think about Christ's love for them. I believe because I love Jesus, I should be reflecting his love wherever I am. How do I that? What does this look like? Even more, I want to learn more about loving those with whom I daily spend time. As much as I know love is a great feeling, it is more so an active choice to put others before myself. I like the title "Love is Not Against the Law" because it is very obvious, yet a wonderful reminder to us. No one argues with genuine, selfless love. No matter your belief system, economic status, cultural background, or geographical location, love is a universal truth. So, why not? Why not love? 

Writing to the tune of...

Last summer, I started this project of taking one song every day, randomly selected by my iTunes library, and writing about that song's influence on me. Sometimes I'd just listen and free write. Other days I'd look at the band or musician and try to decide why I liked their music so much. My writing varied as much as the different music types, but it was very interesting to see the daily outcomes. I haven't continued with this little project or hobby, whatever you want to call it, but today I've decided to start it up again. I'm not extremely knowledgeable about music or writing, yet I love and take great joy from both. So, I guess I'll start here-today. 

Love Addict-Family Force 5

Oh, wow. First day back and I get this song! I do enjoy Family Force 5, but I don't think I've ever thought about writing in response to their music. This song, Love Addict, is a song that makes me very happy. Yes, it's one of those temporal, momentary pieces of happiness, but I love it all the same. Music doesn't always have to be about beautiful verse or awe-inspiring musicianship. Sometimes, I like music simply because it is fun. And this band, my friends, is pure fun. Not only that, but the eccentric guys that make up Family Force 5 love Jesus. It is great to jump in my station wagon with a few friends, crank Love Addict, and enjoy letting loose. This song allows me to act a little immature sometimes-driving down the road, singing at the top of my lungs and pretending I know anything about dancing. It may not be thought-provoking or especially emotional, but I enjoy it. Anyway, it's a great song. Good, maybe unexpected, way to start off this new adventure of music and writing. 

Love Today

Today, Sunday, the 11th of January in the year 2009, is a good day. I'm a future-thinker, meaning "I can't wait until" have been some of my favorite words. Yet, recently, I've been reminded that today is pretty great, too! Today, I am content. I am looking forward to tomorrow and the rest of my future, but I love today. I've loved sharing with my church family. I enjoyed lunch with my friends. My tiny nap was good. And I read an essay by C.S. Lewis that challenged me greatly. Now, I am getting ready to spend the afternoon with my sister in our favorite place, a bookstore. So, thank you, Jesus. Thank you for today. Help me to daily love today and take joy in the place you have me.

P.S. I want an umbrella and a boy to kiss me :) That is for you, Karen!