The last week has been full of classroom time with KBM staff, lots of laughter and plenty of God-given joys. We came in with the warning that these first days would feel like taking a drink from a fire hydrant, and we've found that they were very right. The days have been full of information to swallow and meditate upon. Already God has brought our team of 10 together in a beautiful way. Personally, this week has blown me away. I guess I should really say Jesus has blown me away. I came into this experience with great hopes that God would teach me whatever I needed in order to make me more like him. And on Tuesday, he met me right where I needed, but it was pretty unexpected. To put it pretty simply, I was struggling to take hold of God's truth as I fought off the Enemy's competing thoughts. My mind was clouded and I couldn't focus on Jesus. I realized I was just so stubborn to give him control and to give my sin of comparison over to him. After having it pulled out of me by our coach, Terrence, I spilled everything to my team. God was gracious enough to bring the team's love and prayers right then, and he also used our other coach, Rob, to speak the challenge of grace into me. From then on, my eyes have been completely refocused. A lot of it is my conscious effort to choose and see God's truth and hold onto grace. I've allowed myself to fall into his grace and know true joy and contentment. I'm still on the way, of course, but this week has been a beautiful change. I'm expanding on hopes I thought were impractical, loving the desires of my heart rather than suppressing them and seeking God's wisdom in it all.
Along with all that, we've been learning what it means to really love people. Service is actively showing love and like Jesus, I want to love people "along the way". Ministry is not a job or a mission that I turn off and on. It's a part of everyday life; loving every person we meet and come into contact with. So, I've been challenged to value my waitress or the guy behind the coffee bar in a way that simply shows them they are deserving of great love. Also, I'm learning that my love relationship, my intimacy with Jesus matters most. When we bring it all back to Jesus and get the focus off ourselves, things seem so much clearer. This means that even as I pursue a life of ministry, my eyes are on him. I don't want to be so focused on what "I" can do for him that I lose sight of what He's already doing. Along with that, there is the promise that he will use me. And my ministry looks like me. I don't want to copy someone else's method or try and serve in a way I view as glamorous. I want to be Jesus where he is needed. I want to bring the power source to others, and I do want to feel purposeful. I know living for Jesus, alone, is enough purpose. To know him and share him is really more than enough. Still, I feel that I am being prepared for God's good work.
I'm excited to be lead my the Spirit. I love the Holy Spirit. It has taken me a long time to understand him, and I still need so much guidance, but I've really fallen in love with God's Spirit. Tonight, I'm thankful for what God is teaching our team. I am blessed by the men and women surrounding me. They are God-seekers, people-lovers and Body-builders. I was thinking how amazing it is that I get to be here. Thank you, Jesus, for this opportunity. This chance to learn more and grow more. Teach me to love my team, encourage and pray for them. you are good, you are grace and you are power.
I know God is doing immeasurably more than I can imagine. I know he's working, and I'm just asking for wisdom to take the next steps. Please pray for my humility and willingness as our time progresses. I'm excited, but of course, the unknown is always a little unnerving! Love you all, and enjoy today!
1 comment:
I love you and I love what God's doing in your heart. It's beautiful. I miss you like crazy and I can't wait to exchange adventures with you. :)
Post a Comment