It's rough, I'll say. I've loved being home, but I haven't done a great job in seeing past my own self-misery. My mom is great at pulling my true feelings out of me, but sometimes I get so sick of being her needy daughter. The funny thing is, I'm not usually needy and dependent like this. I'm positive, optimistic, adventurous and confident in Christ. I don't like the person I've been playing these last few months. Today, Lord, make me more like you. Make me like your Romans 12 Christians who desired to surrender themselves and love others unconditionally. Help me to find my identity in you, in your Truth.
I leave Sunday for The Experience, a Kingdom Building Ministries program I'm a part of this summer. For the next 6 weeks, I'm hoping to be broken, humbled and transformed by Jesus. I want to know his love in a new way, but also know how to love like he does. I'm nervous about all that has to be done before I leave, but I'm trusting Jesus with all those details. I'm ready to start knowing Truth again. I'm hungry for God's Word in a new way, and that's such an answer to prayer. Maybe in all this, God was getting my attention so that I would focus directly on him now. If so, it's worth it. I'm ready to keep my eyes on him.
Words I'm clinging to:
Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
2 comments:
Ah...doubting God's blessings. Don't I know how that goes. Get that straightened out now, because it's a bitch if you don't later. You'll wind up in the middle of amazing God-given events and situations and relationships doubting that God would bring any of them about.
So get that lie taken CARE OF.
TRUTH!
It does a body good. Go get it, Jess. I'll be praying for you.
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