Since I've been home...

I have completely enjoyed being home! It's everything I was hoping for this break. The trip here was a very long and treacherous one, but we finally arrived at home Christmas Eve night. After I slid off the road once, my sister and brother-in-law got in an accident. Then, after continuing home, I slid off the road and hit a car on the way into the ditch. Needless to say, it was one of the worst days ever! Oh, then we waited almost four hours for a tow truck, stayed in a hotel, and drove all day on Christmas Eve-it was a little depressing and frustrating, but it made home even more appealing! 

Christmas was wonderful this year, but a bit different without Ben and Jen. I don't think I knew how hard it would be-still, we were blessed with a wonderful day. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, but I've loved that about home. This is most likely, well it is, our last Christmas living in Arkansas, so I feel like I'm drinking it all in. Friday, I went on a long with my parents and enjoyed the scenery of Arkansas. Today, my mom and I took another walk through the park close to our house-I love this area! It is beautiful and peaceful and familiar. Hmmmm... We also saw a movie Friday, Marley and Me (amazing and wonderful!), and then spent the night at home. Saturday, we spent the morning exchanging and returning Christmas stuff. Later, I met my dear friend, Josh, for lunch. I've realized that I have simply amazing friends. I am so blessed. The time with Josh was encouraging, affirming, and challenging. And that's how this whole time at home has been! My parents speak words of Truth to me, our home church did that this morning, and my sibling relationships have been teaching me so much! 

Though this last semester was an excellent one, I was exhausted coming home. My emotions, brain, and body were just fried! I love how God knows just what we need to be filled. Along with his grace, he surrounds us with people and events that give us just what we need at that present time. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you for your grace. So, home has been wonderful. I've taken Arkansas for granted for too long...this is an amazing area. Now, I'm off to read a good book and fall asleep. :) Enjoy a piece of Arkansas Christmas. And all you Indiana folk, it hasn't been less than 60 degrees here. HeHe!

More Than Enough

The semester's end is drawing closer! Tomorrow starts final's week, and then we are done! Amazing! I am very relieved to be so close to finishing this semester, yet I am also so thankful for the past few months. How good they have been! This weekend has been tough, but I have seen God's faithfulness in so many ways! I have incredible people in my life. My girlfriends love me in ways I don't truly understand. They can be crazy and ridiculous, and then turn right around to go deep with me. I love your hearts, Karen and Lyndsey. You are gifts to me! 

Today, I am so aware of God's goodness. He is enough for me-MORE than enough. I don't deserve this overwhelming grace he gives me, yet I love seeing it first hand. So, as I look back at this semester I would like to point out ways that God has revealed himself to me. Thank you, Jesus. And I look forward to another semester of walking with you! 

*Friendships-this year has been one of deep, filling relationships. I can't thank my friends enough for their patience, encouragement, challenging words, and overall directing towards Jesus. You, my friends, give me great joy!

*Work-my job search was long and frustrating, but has turned out very well. I'm still settling in, but the whole thing shouts God's plan. I'm excited to see where God takes this.

*My passions-the whole area of writing and creating has been interesting this year. As a communication major, I've been involved with lots of publication, writing papers, and researching. The amazing part of this is, I love it! I feel so productive, so purposeful. God has simply reassured me that this is where he wants me. And plus, my passion for speaking has been renewed! Part of me can't wait to see what happens next, but I'm also content to wait for what God has right now. 

*Questions-this is very vague, but only because it seems that there have been so many this past semester. At some point, these questions turned into great doubt in my Father, and there was a rough patch in our relationship. Still, God brought my focus back to him and his Truth. I know who pursues me, who gives me rest, and questions I have are offered directly to him. He's taught me to be content, yet to intensely pursue his will in every bit of my life.

*My family-for anyone who knows me well, you know this semester has been emotional and challenging for my family. Things have been far less than perfect, but I love seeing the growth in all of us. The presence of peace and hope is undeniable within our family. Walls have been broken down, hearts have been challenged by the Spirit, and we have drawn closer together within all this uncertainty. 

*My value in Christ-this is something I have been hearing for years, yet haven't completely understood until this year. I feel like I could write and talk about this for hours, yet I'm ironically lost for words right now. I'm tired yes, but I'm also so struck by the Truth of God. Who he is, how he loves me, how he teaches me to love others, how he never changes...there is so much to this complex, yet relational God of ours. 

Here is something I read this summer that has recently come back to me. It's from Donald Miller's book Through Painted Deserts, and I have made these words my own.

Who he is, is good. Even if I want to run, it isn't really what I want. What I want is Him, even if I don't believe it. If he made all this existence, you would think he would know what he is doing, and you would think He could be trusted. Everything I want is just him, to get lost in him, to feel his love and more and more of his dazzling that he does.

I'm thankful for challenges, for times of rejoicing, and everything in between. Good night. :) OOh, and Merry Christmas-we're getting closer!

What Can I Give Him?

What can I give him, poor as I am? 
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a wise man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

These words are simply amazing. I have to say that this song is my favorite at Christmas. I love the praise it gives Jesus, and still, it challenges me to be humble before him. I've been battling with a lot lately; a lot of inner pain and discontent. I realized how little I was trusting Jesus and how little time I'd been spending with him. And then, I discovered how great my doubt had become. I was no longer seeing Jesus in his majesty. As God began to soften my heart and reveal this to me, he reminded me of this song, In The Bleak Midwinter. I am so in awe of how God knows me. He is this powerful, beautiful King, yet he wants me to sit with him as his child. Wow. Oh man, I so much to learn. 

And today, I have been physically stretched. My body is exhausted, but I am completely content. Maybe it's the joy of Christmas, the decorations popping up everywhere, carols filling my room, the crunch of snow beneath my feet. Or maybe it's the hope of Jesus, a man humbly entering earth as a baby and holding his sovereignty at the same time. I love this Jesus of ours. He is good. So good. And he gives us rest. He gives us joy! He gives us people to love us, challenge, and enjoy us. Thanks for this time of year, Jesus. I love the simple joys of Christmas, but mostly, I love better understanding your love for me.