A slightly sappy reflection

Today, I have finished up my junior year of college. That's just so weird. Besides the obvious "where did the time go" thoughts, I'm overwhelmed with all that this year has been. Maybe I'm just overly emotional and sappy because I only slept for an hour and a half last night. Or maybe I'm just so thankful for God's grace and faithfulness over the past school year. We'll go with that option.

I love to write, but today I feel like highlighting the year in a list of what God has done this year. It seems bittersweet to be wrapping up such a good year, but I'm so hopeful about what is to come.

So, here's what God's done in my junior year:

-Placed me in an RA position, on 3rd floor Tuckey, with amazing girls

-Allowed me to sing with Voices of Triumph

-Given me a beautiful and edifying RA team (Karleen, Jo, Kendra, Allison, Rachel and Julie...I love you dearly. You have been huge reflections of God's love and grace this year. Thank you.)

-Drawn me to himself through great unknowns

-Challenged me to trust him without reassurances

-Taught me to seek his face, no matter the circumstance

-Circumstance: not a real word, not an excuse...circumstances are just opportunties

-Helped me find joy in the little things (Still, I've struggled to be content with each day and not get overwhelmed. He is currently teaching me to love the ordinary of life.)

-Provided me with girls who have helped carry me this year. (Karen, Laura, Lyndsey - you three are my rocks. Thanks for loving me so well and for sharing in all that God is doing with us.)

-Brought Ben and Jen back to us! (I have loved this year of learning and growing with my family. Ben and Jen have taught me so much about trust and vulnerability. I'm so glad I get to be close to them again.)

-Ireland Joy Bayer! This little lady came in September and has since been this beautiful, funny, little addition to our family. I love this girl!

-With Ireland, God brought more time with Emily and opportunities to share together. I will never take for granted the friendship and depth I have with Em.

-Brought Dad and Mom here! And today, we found out that the house sold! Praise God! Easter Sunday was Dad's first day at County Line Brethren and our family spent the day together in our new home. Man, I love this.

-Surprised me with Reed Lyons. I don't want to say this was the biggest surprise of the year because that makes me sound kind of shallow. But truly, this gift of Reed has been knock-me-off-my-feet-and-show-me-a-new-kind-of-joy good. Since December, I have learned so much about this guy and I'm never disappointed. I love you, Reed, and I will never get sick of that dizzy feeling you give me. You love me beautifully. And you are so my favorite.

-Taken me back to his rest (I found myself forgetting every lesson of resting in God's grace...and I disliked what my heart was doing. This tattoo reminds me to sit before God with total trust. Thank you, Jesus, for bringing me back to that. I love you more today than I can express. I feel very inadequate in expressing my thanks. You are good and just and strong. Thank you for always pointing my eyes to you and your Truth. I trust and rest in you today.)

This Week's Favorites

I love:

*Extra time

*My reconnection with Train...Hey, Soul Sister :)

*Notes on the mirror from my roommate

*Laura's answered prayer for New Life

*Suite Meet Reunions that cross an ocean via Laura's phone

*The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller

*Hugs from Reed

*Choir with Lyndsey

*The pleasant surprise of 4-wheel drive

*American Idol at Webster House

*Barnes and Noble date with Emily and Jen

*Being content with a night of laundry, checking e-mails and blogging

*Enjoying, really enjoying, today

Halellujah

So, I don't always love Justin Timberlake, but he is an amazing musician. And I love this.

I love the Avett Brothers.

I give you my apathy; I'm giving you all of me

I've decided that apathy has to be the grossest and most perplexing thing. I've been in this weird state of anxiety topped off with a bit of apathy, and I have to tell you...I hate it.

Even when typing the word into the google images search engine and finding these graphics, I felt sick to my stomach. Apathy has to be the largest ruiner of joy and growth. Today, the "almost breaking point" for me, I was hit with a pile of discontent and disillusionment. I didn't want to be here, in the class I sat, at Bethel, in Mishawaka. Thoughts of quitting school jumped into my head. Nagging "what ifs" sat in my mind. I wanted to be away, to live simply and purposefully. I just felt like I was pursuing, well, nothing, really. I was sick of everything. And I was okay with that feeling.

Almost immediately, I was hit with God's compassionate Truth. This stuff, this apathy, was junk. I know Satan loves that tactic. He won't get us to turn to evil directly, but he'll make us numb and indifferent to all things of the Creator. Yuck. So gross. I want beauty and love and joy. This point of life feels a little standstill and hectic, pretty stressful at times. Still, I know it is good. I know God is good and loving. He has purpose for me and I can live fully for him right now. I like that it's simpler that I make it. Seek him, love him, enjoy him. Love others. Enjoy others.

So tonight, I'm giving him my apathy. And I'm so thankful for our God who takes it willingly and graciously. Man, I love our Father.

Back Again...

Snapshots from the last few months:

Ben and Jen have returned! After a year in South Korea, they are back with the family and we love it.

These are a few of my 3rd floor ladies...I love being their RA.

And this is my Tuckey RA team (minus Hottie Hulie Beam). Love these girls!!!!

This is my incredible boyfriend, Reed. We started dating in December...and he's amazing. Great addition to my life. :)

Here we have the beautiful Bayer family, Emily, Ireland and Paco. We LOVE this baby girl, and she has been such an awesome part of this Christmas. Plus, Mommy and Daddy are amazing at this new parenting thing.

And finally, the Smith family is all together again. I am crazy blessed by these people. I love and like them so much!

God has been so good this past semester. He's always good, but I've been seeing that in new and beautiful ways recently. He's taught me to trust him ruthlessly, no matter how ridiculous life seems. He's shown me how joyful and awesome TODAY is. And he has given me the best family and friends to encourage, challenge and love me. I'm in love with my Jesus, and I'm so thankful for all that he gives me. Enjoy today, my friends. God is full of grace and truth.

I just wanted to share my beautiful niece with you. Today has been a rough day, but seeing these photos reminds me how much He loves us. She's amazing. So here's Ireland Joy...the coolest niece in the world. :)

I'm looking out for God's little pieces of joy he gives me everyday. Pieces of happiness, fun or beauty. Man, God is good. Enjoy today.